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Months before my 30th birthday, I was surprised to find myself talking to my mom about sex for the first time. 'Use it or lose it,' she said, talking about the physical and emotional challenges of sex and menopause. For lack of adequate solutions to the taboo that we women - like men - might want to preserve this part of our lives as we age, I quickly realized that something needed to change. I started Taboo for our mothers, aunts, friends and future egos. Our mission is to honor and celebrate sexual well-being as we age.
For most of our adult lives, we associate 'menopause' with 'hot flashes' and leave it at that. If you're lucky, a close friend or family member might open up to you about your experience. But all too often, women only begin to understand or face menopause when they themselves begin to experience it. Why? It is perhaps one of the strongest remaining taboos (sorry, we can't help it) that women face in all cultures and around the world. The good news? Times are changing. The solution is natural, a little unexpected and quite simple. Supported by progressive health systems such as The Mayo Clinic and Harvard Medical School, as well as leading gynecologists around the world, regular sexual activity - with or without a partner - is the safest way to help treat and prevent many of the symptoms that follow menopause. We celebrate women who do extraordinary things past 50, share research and member stories, and challenge the idea that female sexuality has an expiration date.
Menopause is a biological process that is a natural part of aging. It marks the end of your menstrual cycle and reproductive years and is defined as the point in time when you have not had a period for a full 12 months. According to Johns Hopkins, women tend to hit menopause naturally at about the same age as their mothers, which on average is at 51 years old.
But, there's more to the story. There's a transitional phase leading up to 'The Change' called perimenopause when many women will experience symptoms. While it typically starts in our mid-40s, perimenopause can begin as early as 35 for some women and can last between 4 to 10 years.
How does it start, exactly? Perimenopause is triggered when your ovaries start producing less estrogen, which affects your body in many ways. Dr. Brittany Klooster, an OB-GYN at LAC+USC explains, 'Estrogen affects many parts of your body (skin, joints, blood vessels, glands, other hormone levels, etc.), and as a result, women experience different symptoms as their estrogen level drops. While the hallmark symptom of perimenopause and menopause is the hot flash, women face a range of symptoms throughout this life change.'
According to The Mayo Clinic, perimenopause and menopause symptoms include:
Irregular periods
Vaginal dryness
Hot flashes
Changes in mood
Anxiety and depression
Memory and concentration problems
Chills
Trouble sleeping
Night sweats
Weight gain
Thinning hair and drying skin
Loss of breast fullness
Dr. Barb DePree says that the mental and emotional effects of menopause can be some of the most prominent. 'One of the major target organs of estrogen is your brain. Some of the consequences will be hot flashes and night sweats, but also brain fog and short term memory problems. It will also impact mood. Many women will experience issues with irritability, anxiety, and just feeling more emotion overall.'
It's worth noting that menopause may not be the result of aging in some cases. Women who have had their ovaries removed (for example, some breast cancer patients) will immediately begin menopause after surgery. Women who've experienced chemotherapy or radiation can also go through menopausal symptoms.
Overwhelmingly, we ignore the sexual health side effects of menopause which has serious physical and emotional consequences. While sex is an important part of overall health at any age, the benefits can get even better as we get older (more on this below). But, we're not going to pretend it's a walk in the park.
'Genitals have the most concentrated areas of estrogen receptors, so the impact of menopause is likely to have its biggest effect on the vulva, vagina, and lower urinary tract,' explains Dr. DePree. These are not necessarily the first symptoms of menopause, but many women experience a progressive course of dryness and pain that worsens over time.'
What's happening exactly? 'The lack of estrogen in the bloodstream leads to a decrease in blood flow to the vagina and vulva causing decreased vaginal lubrication,' explains Dr. Klooster. 'These changes can also cause the vagina to shorten and narrow, all of which can result in painful intercourse along with a host of other vaginal and urinary symptoms.' This mix of vaginal and urinary symptoms is often referred to as the Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause or GSM.
According to The Mayo Clinic, the signs and symptoms of GSM include:
Vaginal dryness
Vaginal burning
Vaginal discharge
Genital itching
Burning with urination
Urgency with urination
Frequent urination
Recurrent urinary tract infections
Urinary incontinence
Light bleeding after intercourse
Discomfort with intercourse
Decreased vaginal lubrication during sexual activity
Shortening and tightening of the vaginal canal
If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. A recent study found that GSM can be clinically detected in up to 90% of post-menopausal women, although only about one-third of women report symptoms. This could suggest that many women still feel too ashamed or embarrassed to discuss these issues openly with providers. Overwhelmingly, experts believe GSM symptoms are under-recognized and under-treated.
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Every day, about 6,000 women in the United States go through menopause. There are two million women a year. The specialist in obstetrics and menopause treatment, Dr. Barb DePree, likes to say that a hundred years ago a woman was lucky enough to live long enough to reach menopause; but today, women will live at least a third of their lives after "The Shift." We sat down with Dr. DePree along with several other experts to get answers to our questions about menopause. In this guide, we examine how menopause affects our sexual health, exploring biological changes, physical and emotional side effects, and available treatment options.
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